AUCC in Pakistan and India: Hygienically, the worst expedition that has ever taken place.

Following an impressive night in the Roy Bridge Hotel, we hovered in the car park and discussed an expedition so grand in scale that none of us would be able to afford it. Despite this minor detail, flights were booked and in a heartbeat we sat in Heathrow departure lounge, wondering how a small chicken pie can cost four pounds. We bought those pies because the only alternative was crisps.

Arriving first in India we swiftly made our way to Pakistan, “a country which has recently been famous for funding terrorism and poor women’s rights.” (Dermot Bryan Robinson, BSc). Despite these observations proving to be more or less accurate, we found that the Pakistani people are unbelievably welcoming, kind and hospitable; not in a Lonely Planet “oh, the people are just amazing here, they make such amazing little baskets” type of way; they had a genuine interest in our visit and did their best to help us access the rivers in which, as they would so enthusiastically explain, so many of their close friends and relatives had drowned.

Following the chronic insomnia ‘taster session’ that is the journey from Gilgit to Ladakh, we immediately ascended to over 4000m and began a 6 day descent of the Tsarap Chu/Zanskar; the much loved ‘Grand Canyon of Asia’. Not to detract from this classic multiday trip, we would recommend that you avoid any and all of the overly detailed walkthroughs which build expectations so great that this river could never satisfy.

So, here’s an alternative guide:

It’s a river; starts near Sarchu, finishes at Nimu. It’ll take 5 or 6 days. Lovely scenery. Gets up to good grade 4. Watch out for the portages/chunkier rapids as you would on any river. Do the Shyok as well.

Heading down to Uttarakhand, we were lucky enough to catch true gent and walking guidebook Shalabh as he awoke from kayaking hibernation. With the energy that one accumulates during three months off the river, he immediately set us to work ticking off his ever growing hit list for the area. Despite having only just opened the doors of his relaxation/kayak resort to the public, he honorably sacked it off and found time to join us on first descents of the east and west ‘forks’ of the Nayar; a river which will surely one day achieve Upper Dart-like ‘classic’ status.

Weeks of relentless travel were beginning to take their toll and realising that we hadn’t touched a ‘champion’ in months (let alone a “cher-champion’), we made a slight detour to Goa, sans-boats, to recharge the batteries. Intending to stay for a minimum of 7 nights, we managed to ruin ourselves in a respectable three. We booked flights to the east and departed soon after, uncomfortable with our newfound lightweightedness.

A series of coincidences led us to our current destination, Meghalaya. The wettest region on earth (if you don’t count the sea), it is a wonder that kayakers who are constantly complaining about the lack of rain haven’t thought of having a look before. Often described as the ‘Scotland of the East’, the granite bed creeks surrounding Shillong, Meghalaya’s capital, are much like anything you’d find along the A82. Well, maybe not the thick-leafed jungle, but you have to use your imagination.

Through Shalabh, we were put into contact with Zorba Laloo, who following a number of full descent expeditions of the Ganges and Brahmaputra has brought his passion for the water back to Meghalaya. Finding that the local rivers were a bit too boney to navigate in “conventional craft”, he stumbled upon Packrafts; think beach-dinghy meets tank. Since then, he’s been paddling the unexplored rivers of the area, many of which are documented on his blog (http://riverandforest.wordpress.com/). With help from Zorba and Google Earth, we began to explore the almost infinite number of rivers and creeks which wind, fall, fall and fall their way into Bangladesh……

…which brings me up to the here and now. You may have noticed that this blog has a slightly retrospective feel. Well, that’s because I’m calling it a day. If I have learned nothing else during the last few months (which is entirely possible), it is that too much of a good thing is not always a good thing. I will be returning next week, intact and with a cheeky grin on my face to join AUCC as they descend on Teifi tour. God help the citizens of Llandusyl.

If you’ve gotten this far, I’d like to thank you very much for sticking with me. It really means a lot. Look at me, I’m welling up.

James

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